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by katie dey

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  • cassette tape - white shell
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waves 02:38
those things clogging up your drain that you let your soul run through the things that cause you so much pain the things i love about you a chuckle comes from a mistake a ripple in the endless lake an audience half mumbling words hoping their ripples don't make waves (oh no) i see your face i feel your waves i don't know where i can't place it & i don't want to know
solipsisting 04:26
so, so long to self oh to explode into all else oh god i wish to see your soul oh secrets you keep, secrets i hold how they would meet how they could speak in unity abandon your shell, move with your light undying flight, unravel in infinity with me abandon your shell! somehow i doubt people could tell i figured it out, oh what a thrill aaaAaAaAaAAAA infinity oh what great fun! ready? on three hold on dear god, i come for thee
stuck 03:10
i was born inside this body, and i'm stuck there i'm a storm inside a rotting false construction for the rest of my life i have to decide what to do with it & the less it survives, whatever's inside will fool it & i'm constantly scared that we will never speak again you are bored inside your body and you're going crazy so if you ever find a way out, will you save me? when i look at myself i can never tell who i am we're all going to hell, if we're not already in it & i'm constantly scared that we will never speak again it’s not all in your head but most of it is, best not to worry about it when your workings all bled, left rusty stains on the carpet i’ll try to cover it up if we abandoned our shells do you think anyone could tell who we were?
dissolving 03:29
self loathing bouncing round like neuro pinball wish i could find someone to see me under microscope sure i could look inside myself but i genuinely don't know what my heart is for it's getting hard to tell what the fuck is anything anymore i won't need to know when i get out of it / my vessel / of bullshit i won't need to know when i'm getting cremated / sweet fire of / my death bed i can't help but see some good inside us all kinda makes me feel irresponsible guess it's a self-fulfilling prophecy but i know i'm tired too of this self-pity shit it's feeling like a trap i can't escape i don't wanna die i just feel like i'm falling / ignoring / the problem i don't wanna die i just feel like i'm drowning / dissolving / to nothing to nothing
shell 04:37
my soul sings in higher octaves than my larynx will allow my skin sitting still tiredly but tightly ties together all my guts i'm finding a way to gently alleviate the surface pain and entertain ideas of being seen as what my heart wants to display morphing esophageal practices hardening the lumps up in my throat my heart throbs in impossible rhythms my head never could erode it's so hard to say what's truly the root of this unsettling in my brain rarely a day goes by that i don't feel it in my blood through every vein i can't disconnect the ties my throat keeps trying to link back up to my soul there's all these things i can't explain or justify to anyone i know i can't think like i am only this shell
reflection 02:50
i'm a reflection bouncing off other reflections again and again, an abstraction, a call and response a mirror image of everything all at once i'm a reflection a series of infinite regressions a vast algorithm, a reaction to everything ever i'm nothing and everything all at once i am refracting i'm moving infinitely inwards there is a universe within us i'll find a place to become i've given up on my heart i'm a distraction i'm nothing and everything all at once
escaping 03:35
i hope my life makes a pleasant shape for the shapes around me, the lake and the waves for they define me clearly, for they know what it is my sides and vertices, my faces and width they find my position, imposed upon space my absence and silence, my presence and place the higher my voice goes, the more i can feel it feels like escaping, the less i can breathe like i'm not suppressing, like i'm making sense no defining, resigning, defending, rescinding like i make sense i don't want revelation i don’t want decay i don’t want expectation i don’t want shame i want relaying i want communique i hope you are listening
unforming 05:17
i can't keep waiting for saving when will you find where your heart is? buried and limp in the forest used as a prop by a larper under a slide at a park an LED light in the dark helping a boy save a princess top left dissected in triplicate powering mario's cart she won't get better if you don't let her every invisible bravery all my embarrassments haunt me the first to go in my unforming disintegrated by morning i'm not grateful for my mistakes they had their time and their place their usefulness has been erased gone with the lines on my face i move by levelling buildings i live by flattening space my love has a shattering weight infinity sealed my fate you won't get better if she don't let you she won't get better if you don't let her
sieve 06:14
i know to you my soul is nothing more than a mirage you could see through it if you're looking hard enough i get depressed when that's all i can think about i could live inside my head, suppressed let loneliness get loud and proud but as i get older, the answer reveals itself: a sieve a constant repetition of forgive forget forgive forget my love is in the sonic residue of memories the melting notes from shaky throats thrown over balconies reverberating, bellowing, throbbing in my skin from diaphragm to diaphragm to in put out put in put out put in though i get stronger the longer i know my heart to be a sieve i still need constant affirmations to just live just live just live just live when i look closer, the patterns repeat themselves and shift an endless reflection of a gift as we grow longer, or slowly unfold ourselves: a wish of moving closer to a place for us to live


songs by katie dey
mastered by ada rook


released May 31, 2019


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katie dey Melbourne, Australia

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