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mydata

by katie dey

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1.
darkness 03:01
i wanna be a far out satellite so i can hear your brain waves coming i wanna be a hubble telescope so i can see you microscopic i wanna be a blood test with all of the checks in all the boxes i wanna be a smart phone with the face detection fingerprint scanner i wanna be the black hole that’ll tear us into darkness oh i want to be the darkness oh i want to be the darkness oh i want to be the darkness oh i want to be the dark ness oh i want to be the darkness if i could be a nest for all your suicidal ideation if i could just reflect all of your self destruction and complacence i wanna be a black hole i can pull apart electrons oh if i could be a lightbulb i’d explode the moment you install it i wanna see your black soul oh i want it all i wanna be the darkness oh i want to be the darkness oh i want to be the darkness oh i want to be the darkness oh i pray for it
2.
dancing 02:54
i am myself a shelter my own personal hell girl there’s no other place i can go inside i am unbounded constantly unraveling there must be a place i can go cuz i want to be going infinitely going go forever inwards outwards anywhere i need you to be my choreographer dance the moves laid out for her don’t hold back i’ll move however you want me to i am my own dancer my own private dancer i will do whatever i’m told i won’t disobey her i’ll never betray her i will do whatever i’m told but i am disappointing i am self appointed i will ruin everything i love but i need you to be my choreographer dance until everything hurts i can take it i am stronger than you think i am sick of dancing by myself at night i will learn how to take flight you could come with me if you wanted to
3.
happiness 04:03
i want love i’m not above it no denying anymore i want love for you too happiness nurturing understanding holding touching i want life while i’m alive i’m not lying, not this time i want life with less pain with no suffering, no more hungering no more borders, needless torture hold my hand, i can’t stand it if you want me, fuck this waiting let’s escape this loneliness if you’re ready i am here lay your body on my body i can hold you breathe my breath kissing your neck fuck to death if you wanted la la la anyway just a thought i’m embarrassed ignore me
4.
leaving 03:58
i’m about 18 the world’s noisiest street the voices cut right through the trucks and cars i haven’t been to sleep in probably a week someday i find you and find my heart get better now and then pink pills at 8 pm yea people come and go but always leaving always leaving always leaving always leaving always leaving always leaving always leaving always leaving always leaving always leaving always leav... i’ll replace all of my thoughts cuz i know they’ll just get caught there’s no one around tonight and i don’t feel alright i’ve been down so long i never thought i’d come back up and all of a sudden i’m in love and then it’s over then it’s over then it’s over then it’s over then it’s over then it’s over then it’s over then it’s over then it’s over then it’s over then it’s over
5.
hurting 03:27
the nerve pinched in my neck is sending needles down my arm primary victims left two fingers hand half working do no harm tiny bleeding stomach shredding particles that numb my head sometimes what you think will help you fucks you up instead give me every surgery i wanna resurrect bodies i do not know people i have not met carve out any cartilage that could lead me to myself sometimes pain will fuck you up and sometimes it can help lonely pulsing near convulsing throbbing innerspace in my body i’m revolting folding interlaced i will train my bones and muscles to do as they’re told reconcile all of my sections before i am old fool receptors free endorphins block the reuptake sometimes you think pain will help you but you make mistakes
6.
word 02:00
i don’t care what you call me use your words clear your throat for me bless your soul where you’ll be there’s no word for it where we’ll go there’s no word for it there’s no word for it
7.
hopeless 01:51
i know it all feels wrong and it’s eating at your soul your heart once filled with love is stuck always thought it’d be enough but no, it aint, it aint, it aint, it aint, never was always falling short of what you want remember to recharge your hope when your battery gets low cuz nobody’s gonna do that for you and it’s not their job to no it’s not, it’s not, it’s not, it’s not, never was always falling short of what you want
8.
loving 03:54
aaaaaaaa
9.
closeness 02:10
the violent outside wants me to die a big long sigh forever rolling eye love my body fall upon me hi from within i will forgive
10.
bearing 06:10
embracing through window frames i am warm by her username discordant harmony going back and forth endlessly i’m barely alive, you’re barely alive i’m barely alive, you’re barely alive tangled in internet playing fake instruments singing each other songs dragging our bodies along barely alive, just barely alive i’m barely alive, just barely alive sleep cycle desyncing our unsynchronised swimming pilot light flickering poison air rippling holding our breath waiting for sparks and then suddenly fireworks tender explosions across every ocean across every ocean across every ocean across every ocean we’re more than just shapes what our structures can take we’re more than just cages for repeating phrases for rotting in stasis for rupturing airways for running away for bleeding in pain we’re bearing a light unbearable life we’re bearing a light unbearable life
11.
hoping 02:43
i will fall in love with anyone i want within five to ten km of the place i’m living in this financial year stability prevailing i will change my life to the rhythm of other’s lives i can reset myself i’m hoping i can fall in love with the thought of falling in love
12.
data 03:00
hold it on your servers hold it on your drives mydata hold me up in your folders hold me up in the sky mydata pull me out of the river pull me up to the clouds mydata

about

songs by katie dey
mastered by ada rook
art & design by cal elizabeth birchall
dancing video by devi mccallion & sofa (yogurt200)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnKqdhEQgR4

out july 24 via run for cover records

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released July 24, 2020

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katie dey Melbourne, Australia

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