1. |
swallower
03:01
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even if i should lose the light
i'm an inbetween thing aren't i
caught for once unawares
all ready to burst but where
its flattering of u to think
that this is the worst i can get
so useful in your uselessness
all ready to be receiving
the world to come
nourish the earth like the sun
my swallower
full as a cherry in spring
even if i should try to hide
all full of desire inside
a moment with no way out
always already too late
until my voice finally breaks
my heart will forever remain
suddenly fragile this thing
can you love without trembling ?
the world to come
flourishing under the sun
my swallower
hoarding your time like a spring
it won’t be long
cherish the earth til it’s gone
my swallower
i wanna hear it all singing
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2. |
dawn service
03:29
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with ur watermelon chapstick
you called me elastic
they got speedrun tactics
for these kind of things
the sky is filled with static
i’m feeling erratic
we could light a matchstick
when it’s hard to see
aren’t you tired of being nice ?
i wanna start a fight
let’s go to the dawn service
make everyone nervous
bet it’s filled with perverts
who knows what they think
take me to the dawn service
make em call the nurses
fill their mouths with curses
let’s see what it brings
couldn’t get anymore tragic
you called me a faggot
no use now to drag it out
i wanna kiss your face
but we don’t need a light
if you feel like starting fires
take me to the dawn service
show me that ur worthless
make me feel my purpose
let me feel the sting
let’s go to the dawn service
i think we deserve it
just beneath the surface
i can feel the spring
i won’t get upset
lest i don’t forget
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3. |
upstream
02:14
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her eyes suddenly watering
all guilty now aren’t we
years dripping like water from the faucet
nothing comes until you squeeze me like a corset
swimming upstream swimming upstream
swimming upstream swimming upstream
swimming upstream
against the flux of disappearance
insisting on playing just to hear it
people going on loving in the face of
immortality immortality immortality
gratuitous tenderness loveliness
you pour through me like water from the faucet
swimming upstream swimming upstream
swimming upstream swimming upstream
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4. |
open book
03:12
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my red wire
ready to be cut
my lifeline
not picking up
the headlights
started flickering
my fault line
started slipping
not my first rodeo
like a never ending freak show
i don’t feel special lately
i don’t know what came over me
i’m not a mystery baby
i’m an open book
in a forgotten language
it feels like
nothing could go wrong
i don’t mind
barely holding on
the sun shines
only for me
we all die ?
i don’t agree
not my first horrorshow
like a model stuck in t-pose
i feel so special lately
i don’t know what came over me
it’s not a mystery baby
i’m an open book
written in invisible ink
i don’t feel special lately
i don’t know what came over me
i’m not a mystery baby
i’m an open book
in a forgotten language
i don’t feel special lately
you don’t know what it’s like for me
it’s all a mystery baby
i’m an open book
nobody’s ever tried to read
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5. |
so miserable
02:50
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when ur aura grows back
you’ll be able to sing
with your ego intact
though the odds are all stacked
against you
when ur body grows weak
it’s just stuck in their teeth
hanging out of their beaks
so miserable and inadequate
they’re all dying to get a
piece of you
but they wouldn’t know
what to do with it
when ur armour all breaks
in ur staggering state
they won’t have what it takes
to be under ur weight
amidst you
when the world feels like this
full of shattering bliss
only you that exists
so miserable and inadequate
i’m just dying to get a
piece of you
but i wouldn’t know
what to do with it
cause i’m so miserable
ever moving to something
i don’t understand and
i’m missing you
but i wouldn’t know
what to do with u
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6. |
the same place
01:45
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like a hot girl’s legs
always covered in bruises
like a soft boiled egg
with a heart that just oozes
your love comes from
the same place as
your love comes from
persona demon
they’re all weak til you fuse em
it all comes undone
when you think you might lose it
my love comes from
the same place as
my love comes from
the same place as
like a hot girl’s room
always covered in laundry
like a popped balloon
i just wish you’d’ve warned me
our love comes from
the same place as
our love comes from
the same place as our
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7. |
hoarder
04:20
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i keep finding new things wrong with me
i’m an old house built by the sea
termites chewing my bones
it would take a miracle
feeling like i can’t make a sound
even if there’s no one around
black mold in the drywall
it would take a miracle
to bring me back into working order
if i stayed intact would you be my hoarder ?
i’m unlivable , inhospitable
strip all the metal out of me
uninhabitable , unimaginable
ew . it would take a miracle
i keep picking old things off the ground
places i’ve met , people i’ve found
through the gaps in the floor
i can see a miracle
do you know why no one likes it here ?
all of the smells , all of the fear
dripping off of the walls
it would be a miracle
to slip through the cracks , be my new disorder
what would you keep if you were my hoarder ?
rotting debris in the stagnant water
where could you sleep if you were my hoarder ?
i’m unlivable , inhospitable
falling apart at the seams
uninhabitable , unimaginable
ew . it would take a miracle
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8. |
dance butterflies
03:58
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you can be distracted for years
a whole life , written in water
corrosive shame , the joy sustains
flows through you
hope you remember the taste
hope you remember …
the sky , like you , as blue as it is
who knew it could’ve gone through all of this
oh , sing birds , dance butterflies
the blindingly bright moon
i’ve got my thoughts but i’ll never tell
it’s no big loss to keep it to myself
oh , old friends , old lovers
i could never forget you
such painful knowledge , the taste
i’ve wasted so much of your time
look what i found here
the endless need for
hope you remember
hope you can remember
i’ve wasted so much
i’ve wasted so much time
i’ve wasted so much
i could’ve given to
hope you remember
hope you remember it
i’ve wasted so much
i could’ve given to you
old friends , old lovers
i could never forget you
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9. |
fragments
02:44
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i still hear the echoes on a sunlit hill
i still smell the bubblegum perfume
d’you think that you can heal without getting hurt ?
someday there’ll be nothing left to heal
she’s the type who’s never fucking satisfied
she’ll never get the stink of it off her
sucking up my nerves like they’re spaghetti strands
feeling like a cat that lost its purr
is that god inside you girl ?
could i give that thing a whirl ?
we could be fragments
poetic absence
i still hear the howl at the edge of the world
i still feel the brushing of her hair
lingering like smoke in all my follicles
feeling like a lock that lost its curl
is it gone inside you girl ?
are you rolling round ur pearl ?
eventually fragments
poetic absence
is it death becoming her ?
will i never fucking learn ?
all becomes fragments
poetic absence
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10. |
face first
03:44
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i feel psychedelically gross
worms crawlin out of my nose
everything’s covered in mold
isn’t that just the way things go
don’t be afraid of your skin
true beauty comes from within
the self care bullshit stopped working
a long time ago
cold always comes creepin in
i’m being a cunt for no reason
feeling insane cuz i am
and you can’t run from yourself
in the end
i’m in hell but it’s a gift
falling face first into shit
i can’t be alone with myself
for even one minute
but you can survive in a song
i won’t be here very long
nothing can hurt me
they don’t deserve me
i’ll stay alive just to kill my own story
i’m in hell but it’s a gift
falling face first into shit
i can’t be alone with myself
for even one minute
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11. |
malfunction
04:19
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something else went wrong tonight
breaching through the hull
my blood went warm and bright
and leaked right out of my skull
no rescue squad in sight
i’ll just lay on the ground
and wait for somebody
to notice the dripping sound
it’s my malfunction , malfunction
malfunctioning parts
it’s my malfunction , malfunction
malfunctioning parts
another one got stuck again
caught beneath the bones
at least now the other nerves
can feel less alone
open up the cavity
make sure nothing’s bent
next time i’ll ask god to do
some cable management
with my malfunction , malfunction
malfunctioning parts
with my malfunction , malfunction
malfunctioning parts
dyou hear that grinding sound
when i turn my head ?
i can’t bear to listen but
maybe u’d want to instead
the pops and crackles are
a little overdone
at least with records
you can say they’re for someone
but it’s malfunction , malfunction
malfunctioning parts
it’s just malfunction , malfunction
malfunctioning parts
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12. |
never falter hero girl
03:48
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a feather touch
wouldn’t take too much
for you to fuck my life up
and only once
did it feel this much
like my heart was dying
to leave my cavity
and jump back into yours
only an idiot would indulge that again
i wanna live my life
but there’s no time for that
never falter hero girl
you’re late to learn
what’s what aren’t you ?
you’re too sparkly to die
with a death flag cough
in ur guts and stuff
so obvious when you lie
but you’re so damn beautiful
when you don’t wanna talk
i never met someone who lacks like that before
all the mystery is embedded into you
never falter hero girl
i’m used to trying to change myself to please someone
but you make me wanna be the best girl in the world
i just realised it was in me all along
unleash yourself (while there’s still time for that)
you can be anything , anything at all
i care so much more than i ever knew
never falter hero girl
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13. |
hypothetical
03:38
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all day thinkin bout ur fluoride stare
what i wouldn’t do if you were there
not quite getting it but very close
atmosphere is feelin pretty gross
i was wonderin if you were yknow
feelin stupid for me down below
i could be a bad decision babe
but it won’t matter when we go away
don’t you want to fuck it up ?
fall into unholy love ?
with no regrets i won’t be dumb
just a hypothetical
i don’t wanna live in endless fear
of what i woulda done if you were here
somethin in my heart got troublesome
i feel like i swallowed bubblegum
who you are and who you wanna be
is it far from being aligned with me ?
i can’t sublimate the gnawing urge
that my body wants for us to merge
so don’t you want to fuck it up ?
destroy the one good thing between us ?
nothing smart and nothing dumb
just a hypothetical
so don’t you want to fuck it up ?
fall into unholy love ?
no regrets i won’t be dumb
just a hypothetical
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14. |
metaphor
03:13
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life feels like a metaphor
a metaphor for a real life
for a life of foraging
a forest and a scythe
tearing through the wreckage
of a life that never happened
digital detritus
layers to be flattened
scrolling endless folders of
a girl that didn’t need to be restored
somehow maybe some way she believed
she would someday be reborn
scrolling endless folders of
a girl that didn’t need to be restored
somehow maybe some way she believed
she would someday be reborn
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katie dey Melbourne, Australia
k80dey at gmail dot com
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